When James 1 emailed to tell me about Den Of Geek’s birthday celebration for Walter White, everyone’s favourite meth-slingin’ ex-chemistry teacher, I was all over it like tramp on chips. Or rather, like a tramp on bacon – delicious, greasy, piggy bacon – for the key element of WW’s fictional 53rd birthday was a bacon art competition. (Referencing, of course, Walter’s birthday breakfasts in Breaking Bad, while also enabling delighted fans to use the #BaconBad hashtag.) There were to be prizes, too, so it appealed not only to my wanton lust for porky breakfast products, but also my long streak of competitive arseholery.
Three days later we rolled up at a greasy spoon off Oxford Street for a fry-up and a morning of meatcraft. The event was actually to celebrate the release of the Breaking Bad Collector’s Edition tin, which features seasons 1-5 plus 50 hours of bonus features. It’s £119.99, which I think anyone will agree is pretty steep for a tin of anything less than magic beans, but it’s going to make a killing at Christmas.
In any case, we had arrived, armed with kitchen scissors and cocktail sticks (you know, just in case we got overexcited and tried to attempt something 3D).
…And this bloke was there to greet us.
We were issued with a mask of either Walter or Jesse (which are totally are not designed for people generously proportioned in the schnozz department, by the way. My Jesse mask was tilting upwards at a solid 45° angle thanks to my
gigantic characterful nose)…
They were, as you can see, were fucking terrifying.
We were then given some eggs, mushrooms and a shedload of bacon – cooked, cold, and coated in great smears of fatty white pig blubber – and told to get to work. Meanwhile, what seemed like an entire film crew milled around documenting the weirdness.
I recreated the pink teddy bear of season two and James 1 re-rendered the classic Heisenberg motif in low-grade meat products.
The hosts also handed out faux blue meth made of peppermint rock, which was delicious. And I’m sure rotted the teeth as well as the real thing.
The event was a tonne of fun, but sadly I think that bacon may be ruined for me forever. Or for at least a week. It took a fair bit of scrubbing to remove all the grease from beneath my fingernails, and stone-cold bacon is not nice stuff; it isn’t what you would call fragrant.
Nonetheless, I think it’s worth it considering my masterpiece.
Breathtakingly accurate, I’m sure you’ll agree. As I said, the event was a competition – and I have been shortlisted! – with all the finalists listed here. They are actually choosing the winner going on comments and tweets (#BaconBad), so if you fancy feeding my hungry, hungry ego then please follow the link and tell the world that lucky number 13 is the best thing that’s happened to art since Picasso got his freak on.
This isn’t a regular event, but Den of Geek are always holding fun events, such as movie quiz nights and advance screenings for new films. We heard about #BaconBad on Twitter, but you can also keep up-to-date with whatever they’ve got going on via their Facebook page.
Author: Emily Gibson
Emily is an urban adventurer, blogger and
glutton foodie on an epic quest to uncover the best things to eat, drink and do in London. She lives in East London and loves ceviche, cycling and magic shows. Lifelong nemeses include beetroot, beards and wine served in tumblers.